Loading... Please wait...

Blog - fart t-shirt

Shocking Reality: Why Loud Showboating Farts are More Polite Than Trying to Conceal Them

Posted by

Ah the audible fart... the source of laughter, ridicule, scorn, and disdain. What makes a fart audible is the position a person farts in and the obstacles in the way. For instance, a standing fart will be audible and might growl or rip depending on sphincter circumstances. Leaning helps stretch the sphincter, making a louder sound, much like pulling the end of a balloon length-wise while letting the air out. 

Conversely, sitting on a rigid chair provides amplification, and sitting on upholstery, like soft couches will muffle the sound. It's no secret that more women try to conceal their farts and they also scorn those who fart loudly. When pressed on the question of farting, these women will deny ever farting, however, when pressed further about the fact that every living creature farts, they will admit to farting into couches to muffle and conceal them. 


The dirty little secret is that the couch is something we all sit on and lay down on. When you fart into the couch, you force fecal matter into the upholstery and cushion with force, leaving the smell to resonate in that area for quite some time. Repeat this process day after day and you have a couch cushion filled with farts that is unrecoverable at that point. Even as the owner of a Fart T-shirt Company, this is just gross. Who wants to lay down their head on a cushion filled with thousands of farts from days and years past? 


When sitting on a couch, if a fart arrives, it is actually more polite to stand and fart loudly, dispersing the fart into the air where it will dissipate over time. A moment of unpleasant smell in the air is much better than sitting down on the couch a few hours later only to have a puff of old farts blow up from the cushion on you. Seriously, farting into couches is rude. Showboating by standing and farting is much more considerate to everyone around. You can't deny this and the next time you catch someone farting in your couch, you will feel compelled to discipline them and ask them to stand next time.  

View Comments

Gluten Makes Me Fart T-shirt Commercial for Celiac Folks with a Sense of Humor

Celiac disease and a Gluten Allergy are no laughing matter. Having this auto-immune condition requires a life-altering diet that interferes with everyday gatherings and meals. If you let it weigh you down, it can depress people. So you always need to find the joy in everything you encounter, so what can you find with Celiac? [...]

Read More »

Forgive Me Father For I Have Farted New T-shirt

I Fart On is proud to release their newest t-shirt design, Forgive Me Father For I Have Farted. This shirt mixes a little bit of religious humor with good old fashioned fart humor. So where does the inspiration for t-shirt like this come from? Well, it all happened by random chance. The CEO and CFO of I [...]

Read More »

Farting in Movie Theaters - Every Movie is a Horror Flick

Ahhhh... date night, or family night, or just plain movie night. Great place to relax and escape the worries of your world for a few hours. But when you go to that snazzy theater, don't forget one key fact: Movie theaters are a breeding ground for farts. Sugar gives people increased gas and concessions serve [...]

Read More »

Who is the Fart Boss? Do you Have What it Takes to Wear The Fart Boss T-shirt?

The Fart Boss is a persona, or a title, that is earned and not necessarily reserved for one person. Our very own Tim Taboubi is the Fart Boss, and defends his title when challenged. Fart Boss wannabes challenge him frequently, declaring their farting prowess is greater than his and within short order, they are dismissed [...]

Read More »

I Fart On Travels the Country in Search of the Best Funny T-shirt Photos

The founders of I Fart On do not let grass grow under their feet, traveling all across the country conducting photo shoots to show off our new funny t-shirts. In the last eight months, shoots have been done in Orlando, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., Phoenix, Colonial Williamsburg, Manhattan, New Smyrna Beach, Utica, NY, and Old [...]

Read More »

Sign up for our newsletter

View Cart Go To Checkout